Perihelion: Just Another Dream Waiting to Come True

Running, racing- I'm trying to get lost
Trying to burn away this painful frost.
But the breeze is faster; the wind is stronger
the whispers caught up then I'm all in blisters.

I'm hurt, but never hopeless; cold, but not breathless
If you smile, I'll smile and that's my happiness.
And I understand you if you don't want me around,
even the sun hides behind clouds when the rain is bound.

I can go on without you, I just choose not to
coz it's you who could see through me like no one could do.
It's only you who I would go against anything for
I would fight the world just to be with you once more.

I'm running away from that awful past,
trying to find a way to make the dream last,
trying to turn this into a reality with you,
and hoping to make this simple wish come true.

I'm pacing towards that faint glimmer in your eyes,
the small sunlight of chance that never dies.
And it might be the darkest hour of the day,
once dusk breaks to dawn.. I know I'll find a way.

You make me smile even through all the mess I got myself into, even though I'm hurt from all the things you said, even if you keep on pushing me away..
By your side I'll still stay.
The winds may blow, the breeze may bring the chill, and the whispers may scatter the words away.. Still, I'll be there.. I know you know and that's good enough for me.
I'll turn my back but I won't walk away, I'll close my eyes but I won't forget you, I'm just looking at the distance between us when we're worlds apart and still find it in my heart to say I love you.

Dance of the Moth

I know I'll only hurt myself if I get near her, but no matter how great the pain nor how close to death I go.. I'll still go. She's the closest sun that I can touch, the brightest flame that I can see, the only spark within the darkness of my thoughts. And like the dimmest afternoon sunlight she threw those words that turned my sunny Tuesday dawn into dusk, as the wings of my dreams caught fire like Icarus, and the Sunday love story twisted into a Friday night horror flick..
Maybe I'm hurt, maybe I'm not.. I'm falling and failing. How come it always ends up like this? I'm getting sick of being sick, I'm tired of being tired.. Yet every time I think of her, I want to be with her.

She caught my attention without doing anything
and my wings started flipping and flapping.
Though I know this dream is hopeless and doltish,
I'll gladly dance around her til my wings turn to ash

So I burned and fell down and I lost myself again
but I fought and stood and watched as my wounds deepen.
And I know she doesn't want to see me like this
as she said "don't come near me, please.."

I stole the remaining soul I hid from myself;
A stupidity in stupidity's self,
just to cover the hurt and pain inside me beneath a smile;
to say I love her though we're separated by a thousand miles.

And carved on the whispers of the wind was the last drip of lie I told myself:
From forth the broken poerty of promises unkept
Arise and awake, that casts a shadowy depth
of silent hurtful scenes those memories left
And without reluctance he swore;
Never again shall these eyes adore
Nor these lips yearn for more.

Embers of the Past

I waved the thought away;
a dream of coffee stain and cigarette smoke
in a room where all the memories stay
and still say I love you was never a joke.

Questions arise from the depths of confusion;
a seemingly endless zigzag of waterfalls and earthquake
against a bizarre blend of alcohol addiction,
a solace wherein I thought could stop this heartache.

I bravely face the sunrise, feigning bravery,
in fear that sunlight might set me on fire
because it reminds me of that smile so fierce and fiery
contrasted by your voice that sings like heaven's choir.

I contradict this blood machine that pumps for you
and though I know it keeps me alive and breathing,
for what worth life is when the dream cannot come true?
And you were every needle that kept the wound bleeding.

But before all the heartbreaking lines between us,
and even after all the hurt and pain we left each other,
I felt and can still feel a faint ember among the ash
that may spark and fire and melt us and blend us together.

Every lie was intricate and every hate was superficial
as if it were mere pretenses to walk away from this
but the tic toc of the clock accompanied my rearrival
and I break and shake and cry and you're still the one I miss.